Caught Speeding

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want

to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and

calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior

officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this

car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,

please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and

hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and

examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t

have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked

up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT!! told you I was speeding too.